Holiday Headache: Avoid Conflict This Holiday Season

Although some families maintain their regular visitation schedule regardless of holidays, most families arrange to share meaningful holidays so that the children can enjoy holiday time with both parents.  This holiday season, here are a couple tips to help keep the peace so that everyone’s holiday is happy and bright:


  • Be supportive of time sharing, even if it goes outside of your regular custody schedule and cuts into what would normally be considered “your” time.  Consider linking holidays with school breaks so that you and your children can maximize time together.
  • Think about the story that you want to tell about yourself (or you want your children to tell about you) a year from now.  What type of person/parent do you want to be remembered as?
  • Holidays are a special time, especially for young children.  If children bring home gifts from the other parent’s home, do not disparage the gifts from the other parent.
  • Try to maintain the family traditions that were important during your marriage or relationship with the other parent.  Additionally, try to establish new traditions that you and your children can enjoy moving forward when they are in your home during the holidays.
  • Differentiate between the religious and non-religious holidays and determine which ones really matter to you in terms of having the children with you during that holiday.
  • If you are of different religions and have different extended-family traditions, make those arrangements a standard part of your holiday parenting plan.


In general, keep in mind that people, particularly children, will not always remember what you said or did during a specific holiday time, but they will always remember how you made them feel.  Make it a priority to ensure that your children have happy memories that will stay with them for a lifetime.


Happy Holidays from all of us at Zamani & Scott, LLP!